I experienced something scary this week. Perhaps it was good it came during Istafada. It was definitely an “oh shit!” moment.
I was super freaked out, but everything turned out to be fine.
After a few days, I’m thinking Alhamdolillah for the reminder. I’m reminded “what else do I want?”
I’m reminded that the worst fears are what we think. It’s almost always not that bad.
Taher, it will be ok.
When I was a kid I got to go to Jamea for about 6 weeks in the summer. I didn’t know it then, but I’ve been on a path since.
In the years since, I’ve wished that I went to jamea for 10 years. I’m jealous of those that did. I’m sure to tell them Mubarak in Istafada for getting an extra couple days of sabaq. I see the skilled parawnars and so many are educated in jamea. So many who get so much understanding and so much opportunity. I’m jealous.
Im reminded of a lyric that resonates with me
“I'm an over-40 victim of fate
Arriving too late”
Perhaps I arrived too early?
I remember I should not be jealous. Just like seeing that guy on the screen my reaction (not response) should be Alhamdolillah.
Going wasn’t in my naseeb. I don’t know know or understand. It doesn’t matter. Samjo tho samjo, na samjo tho na samjo.
Taher, you’re not too early or too late. There is a plan and I t’s perfect.
My first sabaq of the day is out of this world. It’s not the sabaq I was most looking forward to before coming.
I learned once that what you get out of sabaq will depend on you, the kitab, and the teacher.
The stars aligned. I’m fresh. It’s the beginning of the day. My knees are the least bad they are all day, my stomach is great, I’m freshly caffeinated.
The parawnar is awesome. He’s practiced and skilled and knowledgeable.
The kitab is amazing. The parawnar brings it with him. I’m laser-focused and am taking away so much. The kitab is maybe 500 pages. The parawnar keeps it open. We’re more than halfway done with sabaq and we’re maybe on page 10.
It serves as a reminder to me. I’m getting so much I think, but there is so much more.
Taher, read this once in a while.
I’ve been thinking a lot about choice and Naseeb. It’s tough to reconcile. The more I learn, the more I understand that they are complimentary and not opposites.
I was confident, but just didn’t understand before. Taher, be confident even when you don’t understand.
We have a choice more than we understand. We always have a choice to do the good thing or to do the bad thing.
There’s more to this though. Choosing not to do the good thing is choosing the bad thing. There are NO…small things.
This is just one example that makes it tangible. Jaman is again the example. The more I finish the jaman, the more I understand. The more I understand, the more I finish the jaman. It’s a beautiful cycle.
If you see the jaman and don’t eat it, you are choosing to waste it. Not choosing the good thing is choosing the bad thing.
Taher, choose the good thing.
Sabaq was awesome today as expected. I started the day not in the right headspace though. I was lucky to start the day hearing Moula’s kalama.
He talked about hisab, accounting. Khuda’s hisab is perfect. There are no mistakes and it’s done immediately.
Moula gave the example of jaman being wasted. He spoke of the hisab that gets written even if it’s the smallest amount. He gave the example of the small amount a single ant can carry. There’s hisab for that little bit too.
I’m 100% certain I only understand a small fraction of the knowledge and wisdom that Moula shares.
He was speaking about something broader I believe. He was talking about the importance of small things. Or rather what we perceive incorrectly as small. There are no small things.
Moula said not to just listen with your ears, but listen with your heart and soul. Let the asar make as much of a mark on you as you can.
Moula said several ayats about hisab and those naseebdar in the waaz repeated it. Please make me one of those! I did know one. I’ll always think of
فَمَنْ يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ خَيْرًا يَرَهُ
Do the smallest of the good things.
وَمَنْ يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ شَرًّا يَرَهُ
Avoid the smallest of the bad things.
We learned from a zahir kitab today. The person who wrote it did khidmat of four imams. He did khidmat day and night. He gained one tenth of one tenth of the imam’s ilm. We learned from his kitab and do dua for yaree, help, to understand one tenth of one tenth of that.
We can only understand what we perceive as small. Moula proceeded to explain the small good will benefit us now AND later when we need. I made a connection to what I learned in Ashara.
The smallest acts of good and the small acts of bad magnify over time. We shouldn’t think of them as small.
Just like fruits, it can take years. They come though.
Taher, do it. The benefits will come. Have faith that they will come.
Time is going to pass. In 30 years, I’ll be 30 years older no matter what.
Whether I take the route that gets the short-term results or the route that gets the long-term results time will pass. The long-term results are almost always harder to start. They’re harder to see the results in a month or two. However, the long-term results are almost always better too.
The easy route is easy for a reason. The hard thing IS the good thing.
Taher, go for the long-term. Make the habit.
I’m at BBA and I’m enjoying being a spectator. The highs and lows are so much more extreme for me now than when I competed.
There’s something that can be understood best in sports, but I realize it’s bigger than sports. It’s just easier to see in sports. It’s about competing and never giving up.
I’ve seen this happen in games. It’s so clear in sports. There’s a scoreboard and the games end with a clear winner.
A couple examples in sports is when the Clippers came back from 35 points down to win in the final seconds. They were essentially out and if there was a mercy rule in the NBA it probably would have applied.
Another example is the Bears vs Packers multiple times in 2026. Once people went home at halftime because the game seemed hopeless. The Bears beats all odds to win. The other was so electric that Yusuf and his cousin left the car to celebrate in -10 degree night without jackets.
In 2017, the Patriots had a massive comeback against the Falcons. In the biggest game. They were all but out.
Last night, a team won with TWO Hail Marys.
The teams all never gave up.
It’s not so clear in life. You can’t always see the win. Adab is the equivalent of doing the fundamentals. These comebacks didn’t happen because these teams were lucky. They happened because they each focused on the fundamentals for the next play.
Taher, don’t ever give up. Focus on the fundamentals.
The garden keeps on giving 😃
Gardening is a mindset and not simply an activity. The mindset is about planting seeds. Investing time/energy/resources/money and seeing the rewards or not seeing them.
Fruits and blossoms may come at the end of the season. They may come after a year. They may come after several years. The fruits may come again and again and again. They may come after we're gone. They will come though. Invest in good things and the rewards will be that much better.
This is the mindset part. The mindset is to nurture. The mindset is simply to care. The mindset is to treat life as a garden and not transactional.
I was prompted to think about this the other day. I met a friend and a former colleague for coffee. He's had a tough go being out of work for a long while. He's very talented, but he's got some obstacles. I mostly listened as he talked about what he had going on.
I later connected him with a recruiter at my work which led to an interview. I'm not sure what that will lead to. That almost is irrelevant I came to realize later. It'll lead to something. It doesn't matter if I'm sure or not. It doesn't matter if I'm around to see it. It'll come. I did get to see him leave our meeting a little happier and more energetic than when he came. That alone was more than worth the time.
Taher, make the investment. Taher, be confident that the fruit will come even if you can't see.
Worry is a natural cognitive process. It isn’t an emotion or a feeling, and it doesn’t belong in the same category as them.
Worry shows up easily and often, but it’s not an emotion or feeling to push down or ignore. In most cases, the amount we worry is proportional to the number of responsibilities, relationships, and moving parts in our lives. And as we get older, those moving parts tend to increase, so worry increases too.
But I don't think worry itself has never changed an outcome. The things we fear will happen often do happen. A child will bump their head. A test won’t go the way we hoped. A tryout won’t pan out. A promotion won’t come. Someone will get sick. Our bodies will decline. Someone we love will pass away. All of this is naseeb. The trying matters, but it is written, destined, part of the plan.
Moula has reminded us again and again: thamakun si. The difficult things will come, but it will still be okay. There is a plan and that plan has no mistakes. We can try to relax. The plan is perfect.
We spend so much time and energy worrying. It’s unrealistic, maybe even impossible, to eliminate worry entirely. Trying to never worry at all is neither practical nor meaningful.
There’s another layer to Moula’s wisdom reminding us to do things thamakun si. When we’re absorbed in worrying about the future — what might happen, what might not — we lose the ability to be present. Worry pulls us out of the moment.
Taher, worrying is human. You can't avoid it. Just try to worry less.
This song is a work of art and it’s inspired me before. I even wrote about it before. I wanted to remind myself that today would soon be yesterday.
I’m on my way home and had the chance to watch the movie built around this song. It’s a good movie and it hit differently this time.
After waaz and all the nazr we got this past couple weeks, this movie had a different dimension.
The movie basically is about how a person gets famous writing and singing all the Beatles songs. The whole movie is the journey of him getting all the things he thought he wanted.
At the end, he has an interaction with Jon Lennon talking about being happy and being happy is the definition of success. The main character finally seems to get it.
Afterwards, they show a montage of all his happy moments. None of them are the things he previously thought of as success. These are the moments that by and large have no audience.
Taher, do the things that will make you proud and happy when no one is watching. That is a key to success. The no one watching is important.
I’ve written about this before. This thing I have is very frustrating and very very annoying. I need a bunch more assistance than I used to. I realized there was a hugely positive side to this. I even referred to it as my superpower.
It stinks and I’d prefer not to have everyone around me to have to deal with it.
A few years in a row I’ve gotten Moula’s nazr because of it though. It’s all I want. Moula now associates me with this. He even touches my head every time. Because of this thing I even got to go back to Moula TUS for a long time.
He associates my family with me. I have thought I would gladly bear this so that my family didn’t need to. Now I’m realizing that this thing that I thought sucks and I thought I bear for no reason I get to carry to get my family the biggest reward I could possibly get for them.
Taher, it might seem terrible for a while, but have faith it’ll be something else.
I knew the first waaz would be awesome. I learned something that will shift my behavior even before the waaz started. It was repeating behavior for people visiting London. When I first read rules like cross at the cross walk, mind personal space, and let people off the train before you get on, I thought this isn’t for me.
Before the waaz started, someone repeated some manners that I was just more ready to internalize. They said if you see someone in need help them. If you see an old person make space. It doesn’t matter if they’re mumin or not. Moula taught you ikhlass or manners. We represent each other. It matters how we behave.
Whoever had the microphone proceeded to say eh logo ne dua kaam lagse. Their dua will benefit us someday and somehow. Moula is also saying behaving well is for us.
Moula told us in his first bayan to feed the person if they’re wearing fancy clothes or if they’re wearing plain clothes. It doesn’t matter. You never know. There are so many layers to his bayan. One I think is just do the good thing.
Taher, have the best character you can. It benefits you.
Mom used to tell Zahra to notice the people who were there and not notice the people who weren't. Zahra shared this wisdom with the kids and me.
Sometimes people will do what they "should" and sometimes they won't. It'll be disappointing when they don't. They will always do what they're supposed to do though.
Just as often, perhaps, people will pleasantly surprise you. It's up to us to notice I guess. To notice who is there rather than who isn't.
It's such simple and wise sikhaman. It can be distilled down to see the good and ignore the bad.
Taher, show up and notice who is there.
There's a great story I want to remember to understand about the importance of being open-minded. It's a good reminder that learning is forever.
A man seeks guidance, but he just talks and talks. He explains his question and the context and doesn't stop talking. The man he seeks guidance from doesn't get irritated. Instead he makes them tea and fills the other man's cup. He fills it to the top and then keeps on pouring. The tea spills.
The man finally stops talking and exclaims about the tea.
The tea is just a demonstration. The other man explains that your proverbial cup is full. You need to empty it to allow other stuff to come in.
Your brain is not like your heart I think. It doesn't just magically grow the way our hearts seem to in order to let more stuff in. In order to grow, it's necessary to be open.
Taher, remember to make room in your "cup".
In a bayan, Moula was making a point. He was saying be yourself. Whatever the situation be proud. Then, as he always seems to, he shared more wisdom with us. He asked why not take your shoes off in a restaurant.
He wasn't telling us to take our shoes off. It wasn't a Farman. He was simply asking why not do that.
I don't think of myself as smart. I'm smart enough to listen to Moula even when I don't understand though. I stopped wearing shoes when I ate from that day.
That was years ago. Today I just understood a fraction of the wisdom he shared. It was something he didn't say in his bayan or at least I didn't catch it. It was something I learned only by experiencing.
I was driving and thirsty. My water was within reach. But I had my shoes on. I wanted to have the water, but it didn’t feel right. I wanted to multitask.
It dawned on me, part of the wisdom of taking your shoes off is just doing the thing. Don’t multitask. I later got seated and I had the water. It was that much better.
Taher, take your “shoes” off. JUST do the thing.
Yesterday, Yusuf went for a haircut like he's done many times before. His usual didn't work out so he went to a new place. He got there and saw the sign that read "cash only". He didn't have any. He told the barber I live nearby and I'll be back in ten minutes with some cash. They said no, no you're here and just get it afterwards.
They didn't have any of his info. They just trusted him.
He was pleasantly surprised and agreed. Mid-haircut another patron said, "don't worry about it kid". He paid for Yusuf. He left a nice tip and left. The man left no info. Yusuf didn't have a chance then or a way later to even say thank you.
Yusuf was astounded by these couple events. He was so excited that he called on the way home to tell us. And he repeated this story two times in the next hour.
The first person trusted him and the second person did something nice with not so much as a "thank you" in return. They did small things and they made someone feel so good. The first was just good business and the barber was rewarded immediately with a nice tip and now gained a repeat customer. The second person did something small and probably made two people really happy.
The cool thing is the man who paid also felt good. It's quite established in science and medicine. It's called the helper's high. He most likely made three people happy. No doubt it'll get paid forward.
Taher, you don't have to go around paying for peoples' haircuts. But look for those opportunities to be like these two people. They have no idea how happy and excited they made Yusuf. It was good business and a good way to treat people. They made themselves happier in the process too.
When a big change happens to us it creates a lasting change within us. Big changes are going to happen. I've had a few. Some expected and some not. They were big though and not all good. I guess the lasting change is optional. Big change is an opportunity.
It's an opportunity to make a change that inspires others. There's actually a phrase for it and there's been some research. It's called moral beauty or moral elevation. People see whatever positive they see and are inspired. It's a lesson to consume the positive and perhaps less consumption of the negative. We're told to avoid back-biting. This, I think, is part of why.
Doing inspiring stuff is also a form of ibadaat. When people see moral beauty the experience of awe and beauty is heightened both for the doer and the seer.
Taher, it doesn't have to be big to inspire. Pay it forward. Taher, do the small things and the big things. This is how you pay it forward.
I'd heard an interview this week and the guest put something into words that I'd thought about, but never been able to put into words so eloquently. He described his experience in lockdown as being "trapped with his choices".
Everyone experienced lockdown. For me and many I imagine, it was like groundhog day. There was no escape. There was no 'break'. COVID was objectively awful for a lot of people. I wasn't one of them. I was lucky or whatever the right word is. I had a lot of time to think just like everyone else. Among other things, I thought about priorities and why I wasn't miserable. So many people seemed to be. I remember writing about liking my roommates a month in.
I liked the choices I had made. I wasn't deliberate in my choices necessarily, but I was trapped with so many of them. Those choices stemmed from priorities I decided along time ago and priorities I refined over the years. The choices weren't conscious, but I frequently looked at my priorities.
The world opened and things went back to some kind of normal. I guess it was easy to fall into old patterns. I don't think I did though. I didn't realize it. I am on a path. It's subconscious, but I don't think that experience of being trapped with my choices ever left me.
Taher, make choices you'll be proud of later. Taher, remember your priorities.
Duniya sucks. That's not new. Crappy things are bound to happen.
Yusuf and Nooriya are inspiring this post. They both had less than ideal sports experiences. Their reactions were great though. They both reacted in ways that demonstrated a lot of leadership and in different ways. They set a good example. I learned something.
This is of course broader than their sport thing. The responses were both growth to be better and to see the less than ideal as a bump rather than the whole thing. They were passionate too.
Another way to articulate this is their perspective was a bit broader. They didn't seem to just observe the particular low as the only thing. Rather they seemed to see it as part of the journey.
It makes me think of a puddle. A puddle is often pretty boring, gross, and something to be avoided. There's often something there. A reflection or a plant or a tree that will spring from it. Something better comes. It's hard to see. It's there. There's beauty there and everywhere. And not just on vacation. I still remember noticing the flowers in the gutter in Bangkok and people just walking by. It takes practice to see. It takes eyes that have been developed to see the beauty in a puddle.
Taher, train your eyes to see.
We do this dua to break our rozu every day in Ramadan. It's probably automatic for most and I think we rarely listen. There is one part I want to hear and think about every time. In the dua towards the end and when the rozu is almost over we hear "Qablas Sawal".
Literally, this means before asking.
Like all of the stuff Moula does, there's a lot of meaning here.
What's in our naseeb or what's been fated we didn't ask for. It was just given to us. We may do stuff that can affect our naseeb, but every person's naseeb is their naseeb. We didn't ask. All that happiness, all that circumstance, all that opportunity, all that health, everything. It was just given to us. It's foolish to think we earned or deserve any of it. It's not even because we prayed for it. Not in a way we can understand anyway.
There's a much bigger conclusion. We were born into this situation and given this opportunity to be in the right place at the right time. Without asking.
Taher, remember the bigger picture and think about "Qablas Sawal" every time you hear it.
There's going to be highs and lows by definition. It's natural to want to stay in the high and avoid the low. This seems like a losing strategy though. Highs will happen and they'll be great. There'll be anticipation and a rush. It'll be natural to want to stay there. There will be lows too. Perhaps much more later in life. Life is maybe designed to be that way. The lows will suck. It'll be natural to want to avoid them.
Life is going to be a rollercoaster. No doubt about it. Rollercoasters have highs and lows too. They also have these in between moments. This is where we live most of the time. A better strategy is probably to try and make these in between moments longer and better. We have the ability to change our set point.
Another analogy which I want to remember is that of a see saw. If you do it "right" you'll be in the middle a lot. Equanimity will keep you there.
The best strategy seems to be focus on the middle and spend less time at the extremes. As backwards as it sounds, the best thing seems to be feel the high for a short time; don't eliminate it or avoid it😅. Also, be in the low for a short time; don't try to eliminate it or avoid it either😅.
Taher, focus on the middle.
One of my very recent posts was about Karbala. I think I'm beginning to understand the limitlessness of this place and its significance. More likely, I still have no idea 😁
My dad did something related to Karbala, but he probably won't tell anyone. I want to brag about it though. I want to remember 😁 because it is cool and inspiring!
Several months ago dad bought some raffle tickets to support a toloba fundraiser. The grand prize was a ticket to Karbala. I doubt dad cared about the prize. A short time after, he won the prize. Before we could even wish him mubarak, he found someone who hadn't gone and gave it to them. Wow! His first impulse was to pay it forward.
Fast forward to this past weekend...the guy who doesn't come very often found dad and thanked him. He had gone with his family to Karbala with Moula! Wow!
Taher, donate it! Taher, give it!
