Thursday, December 30, 2004


I spent the better part of 15 hours trying to make relief packages for some of the people that have felt the devastation. Only the most basic things...toothbrush, toothpaste, rice, water, blankets, things that would require more thought to be taken for granted.

The last few days my spirit has just been non-existent, absent. Finally, yesterday a tangible way of helping...feeling it in my hands and my back that i have done something, i still feel like shit. With all the effort of the people working, we provided relief to a few thousand people for a mere few hours, while milllions of people are displaced. I am pretty sure i'm supposed to feel good about something, but i don't and i don't understand why. What's happened and what's happening is affecting me so much and I didn't personally know anyone affected directly. If I did, at least i would be able to understand how i'm feeling. I feel displaced.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

baby bird

Saturday morning i walked into class to find a bird in the classroom, ordinarily nothing even to bat an eye at, ordinary. This was a baby, however, that entered the room and couldn't get out.

I spent what seemed like hours just trying to show this baby the door and have it fly through it. It just couldn't find it and flew here and there and into windows and walls. Forever just trying to urge this scared, confused, infantile little bird through the door. Following it both hands cupped and making ridiculous bird noises getting it to cross that threshold.

Despite the many things i don't like about being a teacher, i enjoy coming in on saturdays and helping those kids who need the extra help. This week i spent more than an hour encouraging a shy girl just to speak in audible tones, just a girl who could use more attention.

I look forward to seeing the baby birds on saturday.