Know

They usually know. And they’re doing exactly what they’re supposed to be doing. 

It’s easy to criticize. Often, I criticize those closest to me. It almost doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to enumerate anything because it’s embarrassing. I know though.

It’s easy to be critical. And fool yourself into thinking you’re being helpful. That person needs to be more active for their own health. It’s easy to think, let me tell them to exercise or let me get them something that’ll make it easier for them to be active. It’s kinda insulting; it can easily assume they’ve never thought of that. Doing that can add a pressure. That isn’t the intention, but it happens. 

They probably know already. Cut them slack instead of being “helpful”. Go with them. Be part of whatever it is. Assume they know.  Otherwise, it may not be helpful even if that’s the intent. Niyat matters a lot, but it’s not everything. 

Taher, choose when you criticize. They probably already know. 

Hasad

We see the screen and we see how lucky some people are. Sometimes Moula stops to touch someone and sometimes he stops to talk to someone. Naseebdar!

We are lucky to see. Our response (not reaction ) needs to be automatic and immediate. Alhamdolillah!  Great for that person. 

It happens all the time. I’ll see someone with a nice this or that, or someone commanding lots of attention, or having anything. My first and only thought should be -Alhamdolillah! Great for that person. 

Moula told us Hasad is the worst bimari.  Moula said khuda gave us hands, feet, a mouth, and most importantly iman. Then he asked biju su joweche?

We don’t look at someone with less and think - why can’t I have that. Khuda koi ne aape koi ne na aape. Khuda gives to some and khuda doesn’t give to some. Samjo to samjo, na samjo to na samjo. Understand if you understand, don’t understand if you don’t understand. 

This is my favorite ayat once I learned the meaning. It repeats over and over. It is the most often occurring.

 فَبِأَىِّ ءَالَآءِ رَبِّكُمَا تُكَذِّبَانِ 

It isn’t a translation, but this ayat basically means - what else do you want?

Taher, you don’t need anything else. You already have all you need. 

Slow

Many mornings the kids are rushing around to get all the things they need for school. It bugs me that it’s not relaxed, but I remind myself they need to get that mental place in their own time. 

It is better to go slow. It is better to leave a margin for what’s important.

Zahra and I have this running joke that’s only kind of a joke. Namaz won’t be for 20-30 minutes and I’ll stop what I’m doing with her or naturally end the conversation and leave saying “it’s namaz time”. 

Moula says to pretty much do everything thamakun si, relaxed. He also says aram si roo ane kush haal si zindigi guzaro. Live comfortably/peacefully/slowly and happily. These are not separate and certainly not in conflict. Live slowly so that you can be happy AND live happily so that you can live slowly. They are intertwined. 

Moula never wants us to rush. If it takes 5 minutes, take 7. Be happy. Be slow. As Moula has told us, it takes discipline and focus. 

Taher, be the early bird. 

Awal waqt

Literally awal waqt means first time. I think it’s a concept though. 

Doing the right thing is always right. Giving a hug, showing love, doing namaz, and many many other good things. 

Moula did a riwayat today I’ve heard before, but learned a new layer today😁  A man who did namaz awal waqt was late to namaz.  It wasn’t the awal waqt.  He got distracted and waited until the very last moment to do namaz. He wanted to do wazu and instead of water he got jewels.  He sent the jewels back into the well.  He tried again and got jewels instead of water.  He tried a third time and was able to do wazu and namaz.  There’s a lot to learn from this story and the new layer for me is that doing things awal waqt is a habit that needs to be developed or a muscle that needs to be exercised.  It requires discipline and focus which Moula also talked about.

I got the Naseeb to go and take care of Nooriya and dad on back to back days. It was less than convenient for me. I was a bit annoyed at first, but then thankful I had the opportunity to be helpful. It wasn’t immediate that I felt like that, but it was close. 

When I’m patient with the kids, I always feel good. I’m hoping they do too.  Especially, when that’s my first response.

The right thing is always the right thing. Doing it first thing is better and makes you feel good and makes good memories.

Taher, do it in the awal waqt. 

Force

There’s something pulling on me all the time. Do this or don’t do that. I don’t know how to name it. 

The waaz yesterday was in part about a force. It’s a concept that was made accessible to us. Moula seemed to be describing gravity without using the word gravity. He described a force so strong that it attracts. Without it you float away.  Just like what gravity does. Not gravity. He didn’t say the word. 

Then he named it to the surprise of most. Love. Wa lad deen ilul hoob. There is no religion without love. 

A new layer became clear. Lead with Niyat or intention. 

Taher, do it with love. You’ll never float away.

Worst thing

Like many of the posts I make, I want to remember this for later. 

The worst thing is a feeling. Je thawanauche thase (what is going to happen will happen). What will happen is inevitable. We can choose how to feel about it. The “good” or “bad” things will happen. The “good” and “bad” are up to us. What happens is usually not that bad. 

We have this baseline of happiness. It’s like our upper limit that we return to. The thing is it’s not fixed. That’s wondrous!  This idea of what is abundance is flexible. This baseline is up to us and that is amazing!

Priorities determine “good” and “bad”. It’s not easy, but it’s also not complicated to move this baseline towards more happiness. 

Taher, remember your priorities. Do the work to remember them even if no one claps. 

Everyday

I had to look this up.  Everyday as one word means common while every day is literal.  I think this distinction is pretty cool.

Today is a special day and I was inspired by Zahra to write this.  It’s not great writing, but I want to come back to read this and remember how I was feeling when I wrote this.

—

Every Day is Everyday

The sunrises Everyday

The stars are in the sky Everyday

We make memories Everyday

Let the memories hold on to you Every Day

It’s hard, we’re just pathetic humans

Still,

Every Day is Everyday

— 

Taher, the sun rises every day.  Not just on vacation; it is literally everyday.

Panera

Panera keeps giving!  I’m enjoying some relaxing time at Panera today. A week ago we were knee deep in Ashara planning, ITS that wouldn’t cooperate and was seriously frustrating, and complicated logistics. Stress was all around. It was damn near impossible to be calm. I knew it would all work out eventually. It always seems to. It was hard to remember that and it was so hard to reassure others. 

We got a good reminder yesterday in misaq and waaz. A part of the waaz that really stayed with me was just have baroso. You’ve got the main and important stuff, don’t worry. The misaq reinforced this Khuda koy ne aape koy ne na aape. Khuda koy ne uncha kare koy ne neecha kare. Don’t worry. And ends with Mubarak. You have this oath and you’ve made it. 

Today I’m enjoying some time at Panera. Just after I entered a dad came in with his one year old. The kids was in adorable. He was in the phase where he could walk and really couldn’t talk yet. The Panera employee saw this cute kid and gave him a cookie. He was so excited!!!  The cookie was about the size of his face!😁. A little while later an old guy with a walker was getting coffee. I was able to hold his coffee and the door so he could navigate getting out without spilling. Just now I saw some guy hold the door for someone else that was holding a bunch of stuff. It was great. It was a small thing. 

Taher, notice the small things at Panera. Taher, let the little things pile up.