Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Racist, Prejudice, Opinionated, Associations. Is there a difference?

I've come across this project, implicit. They set out to see what people associate with different topics, types of people, and things. You can find general information about the project here. They have gathered a ton of data and use it to make conclusions about culture and society and their influences on our sub-consciousness.

The conclusions that they draw are eye-opening and their 'data' is substantial and convincing. I haven't taken the implicit test. In part because I don't know how much credence I give to the test and in part because I am afraid of what the results might be.

Proceed at your own risk.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Fast Friends

Five and a half years post-ZP. It started as romantic as I could have imagined; across the world, unexpected, and with its own obstacles. Instant attraction (at least from me) and a certain amount of wooing. It was difficult, but easy at the same time. Falling in love was easy, and having it happen in a story book way made it so perfect.

I think back to those first few months and wonder what it was that I fell in Love with? I enjoyed the time we spent together and we connected so often and easily...but what did I LOVE? I think it was part physical attraction and part loving what I thought those parts of ZP's identity I didn't know about yet could be. That unknown was exciting.

Fast forward to today. The attraction is still most definitely there, but those unknowns aren't. And the certainty is glorious. Take away the attraction, and what's left is my best friend. The best friend I could have ever imagined, the part that is not in story books but should be.

Your best friend ZP,

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Little things

I've been thinking how it's little decisions snowball and can really shape your life, who you are, and what you become. We make small decisions almost daily because of or inspite of fear. I look back on the last several years and, at least in my personal experience, can identify overcoming and succumbing to little fears that have really shaped the person I am today.

One example among many is namaz. At some point many years ago, I was afraid (at least on some level) to do namaz outside of a mumin's sanctuary. But then one day, I gathered the courage to do pray in a public place. I must admit, I was probably nervous, anxious and rushed through all the neccesary arkans only doing the bare minimum of namaz. As before, I again found myself out during namaz time and found it just a little bit easier to do namaz in public...this happened again and again. And now, I carry a compass whereever I go, do namaz without hesitation, without care of my surroundings (and I don't mean to worry you ZP). Now, it's as if I can not miss namaz.

This is one fear I could have easily succumbed to and made a habit of not praying on time or not praying at all. I ask myself if my actions or some innate religiousness are the cause or the effect...a classic what came first, the chicken or the egg case [feel free to make fun of MA, I won't erase the comments]. There have been many small paths I've taken in my youth to bring me where I am right now, and it's important to realize there are still those little things almost everyday.