Thursday, May 26, 2011


Unfortunately, I've been to the cemetery too many times lately.

The qabrastan is a very cathartic experience. I stop what I'm doing and make my way to the masjid and cemetary. Interrupted from whatever I was busy doing and thinking about, I am jolted into thinking about what and who are ultimately important and realize how unimportant whatever I was busy with might be.

The burial is intense. I have never been so directly joined with anyone, but I feel profoundly connected without a deep sense of loss. I see someone I've known for a very long time barefoot and in the grave saying goodbye to one of their family.

I don't think about my own mortality, rather I think about how many times it will be me in the grave saying goodbye. I imagine what that loss will be like; I am happy to wait to know exactly.

I appreciate getting this feeling absent the deep sense of loss and I find the cemetary a great place to find focus and remind myself of some things that aren't always in my thoughts. I am reminding myself with this post to go there more under circumstances that don't suck.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


I have been struggling to figure out what I want to do with my career lately.

Recently, I've tried finding other opportunities that are out there. My career path is bright, clear and easy to see where I am; I'm not unhappy for any lack of opportunity. I'm trying to figure out if I want to make a change.

It's not quite this simple, but in my mind it's coming down to prioritizing family and career. For me I've always thought that's an easy one; family is number 1 and career is somewhere much lower on the list.

Unexpectedly, it hasn't been that simple. But then I was reading my very infrequent blog posts over the last few years. And I was reminded that it IS and ALWAYS will be that simple, family number 1 and everything else some other number. Thanks past self for writing down those thoughts and you're welcome future self when you come back to read them.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Speak for Myself

Congratulations! I am so proud of Zahra that I can't find the words to express it. This project has so much potential and I hope it ALL gets realized.

I was very eager to get my hands on a copy of the book to see exactly the words that would be reaching hopefully many, many people. I have been reading the essays all week. I started the book in part because I am so closely connected and I expected to be engrossed and am excited as I had a good understanding of the book's purpose.

What I didn't expect was to be one of the people whose mind was opened so much. Having a Muslim American experience, I naively thought I already knew what that meant. I was surprised by realizing the diversity that existed in just these 40 women's stories.

I am very comfortable with my identity, almost complacent. The book has pushed me to grow and rethink what being both Muslim and American mean to me. It has made me be a little more thoughtful about myself both my inwardly and outwardly.

I hope that this book and its ideas reach a lot of people. It will help many, including me.