Door

I've been working for a while now and it amazes me now that sometimes the value I bring is just being there.  It's nice to be valued, but it still seems strange.  I've had a colleague who liked to say, "Change is inevitable.  Progress is optional".  This value from little other than experience is a change.  It's progress.

I've been a parent for a while now too.  I don't always feel valued by the kids:)  It might come later, but it's not really important.  Things are definitely changing though.  I think we've all heard something like when one door closes a window opens or some annoying bright-side-of-every-situation-type phrase.

Things are changing.  The kids are changing.  Not all at once, but they've entered this new stage.  They're older.  Nooriya is learning to drive.  I get to teach her:)  She's so excited.  It's wonderful.  My value is simply being the passenger.  I don't really do anything.  Last night Yusuf went out to a friend's house after Zahra and I went to bed.  My value will be to simply be here and listen to him tell me about something from his night.

Tonight Zahra and I are going out and the kids have their own separate plans.  It's not the first time, but things are definitely changing.  It's becoming more normal.  Another door is closing...

Taher, things are changing.  They will change again.  Taher, choose progress.

High School

I went back to my high school to see Nooriya’s gymnastics meet. It has been 25 years since I was in that building. A lot is different there, but it still brought back a lot of memories. There is stuff I remember that I didn’t even realize I remember. 

I don’t remember high school as the best time. Actually, thinking of high school as being the best time of your life is kinda sad.  It was complicated like I’m guessing it is for everyone. I wasn’t the sports guy. I wasn’t the smartest usually. I wasn’t the most popular or the most talented either. 

Somehow I was nice to people most of the time and that worked really well. I definitely didn’t have it figured out. I couldn’t articulate it. I wasn’t just kinda lucky that I was nice to people. 

Until today I didn’t really realize that I was nice and kind then and that was the reason high school was as good as it was. I can articulate it now. Being nice and kind works at this age and I’m glad I can articulate it now and strive for it. 

Taher, be nice and kind. It will probably still work in 25 years. 

Small

Life can be rough.  Duniya kind of stinks.  Stuff happens all the time that sucks.  It is easy to focus on that.

Everyday, though, there are all these little moments of joy or happiness.  These moments of beauty are everywhere.  They happen all the time and many are just too small or to mundane to appreciate.  Why not appreciate them?  Things like a person smiling at you, a friendly hello, someone making space so you can change lanes, or someone holding the door.

This small stuff happens everyday.

This makes me think of the riwayat of rasulallah asking people he was with to gather fire wood in the desert.  They all didn't think there was enough, but it piled up when people accumulated the small amounts.

There's small amounts of happiness everywhere and everyday.  We can pile it up.

Taher, notice the small.  Taher, do those small things.  Someone else may pile those up.

Legacy

Life is short though it may not always seem like that.  It has a way of seeming even shorter when looking back.  Kids grow up and things change.  You have milestones and low points.  Those seem to be the memories that stick.  

The other day dad came over and told me the story of when he first got to the USA.  I'd heard it before, but I love watching him tell it.  It was the 60 year mark.  He made his way to Minneapolis.  There was a snow storm and his connecting flight was cancelled.  He was being hosted by a family he'd never seen for a few days in rural Minnesota.  A bunch of them had all come to the airport to receive him only to not have him arrive.

My dad got bumped to a later flight.  It was 60 years ago so he had no way of letting them know.  The family all left, except for the dad.  He stayed back.  And was miraculously there to meet my dad, all by himself; a foreigner in a strange place.

They eventually drove the 1.5 hours back to their farm where at 11 pm the whole family had waited to eat dinner.  The mom went to the library and researched what would be ok to eat.  She prepared the meal and assured my dad that there was no pork in anything.  After dinner, the dad showed my dad to his room.  He even pointed and said Mecca is that way.  He even figured out which way qibla was!  

Part of this family's legacy is my dad and his story.  Wow!

At this point, my dad silently reflected on 60 years of life since.  He thought about his legacy I imagine.

Then the mood changed.  My dad talked about this picture on his desk.  It's a picture I know well.  It's on his desk.  It's a picture of his whole family on the day he left.   Everyone gathered.  Going on a plane, let alone to the US was a big deal then.

A new part of the story developed.  There are 19 people standing with my dad.  He noted that all 19 people had passed away and even 2 of the seated kids had passed away.

Taher, remember that your legacy is bigger than you and do things that you'll be proud of when you think about your legacy.