Buzurgo

Yesterday, we finally had some older folks over.  These folks are a decent amount older.  They're peers and friends of my parents.  I'd been mulling it over for a while and we finally made it happen.  We see them a lot at masjid, but hardly ever in social situations.

It started out as I wanna do this for our parents.  I just want to have them hang out with their friends and we'll provide some food, chai, and a comfortable place to hangout.  I like these elders and I have more than 10 second conversations with them at masjid.

It was just what I was hoping for.  My parents and their friends hung out and reminisced about the many experiences they'd had together for many years.  That warmed my heart.

It was more though.  I was thinking about the one couple in particular.  Throughout my childhood I was probably over at their house hundreds of times.  I remember doing something dumb at their house and needing stitches.  I didn't give it a thought until just now, but I probably made a bloody mess at their house and basically forcing an impromptu sleepover.  I didn't even realize it, but I probably ruined whatever he had planned for Saturday.  

I'm a parent and I wouldn't be too put out if I had to take care of one of Yusuf's or Nooriya's friends in the same way.  I'm in this odd stage of parenting though where sometimes I'm Yusuf and Nooriya's dad.  That's going to be the case more and it's going to take some getting used to.  For a long time, they were almost exclusively Taher and Zahra's kids.

This was the first time these older folks came to our house.  This get together crossed a threshold.  Zahra and I were no longer our parents kids only to them.  We'll always be that and I will always be happy about that.  We seemed to be something else now.  Not their peers, but also not just their friend's kids.

I'm so lucky that Zahra is who she is.  She had this way of engaging with them that really solidified this transition.  The get together wasn't for us, but at the same time it was great for us.  It made us feel good.  I look forward to when our friends don't just see Yusuf and Nooriya as Taher and Zahra's kids.

Taher, do the thing that benefits someone else.  It will likely benefit you as well and you just don't see it yet.

Don't Hesitate

I read this awesome poem.  Don't hesitate was my main takeaway.  Joy is all around us.  Not just on vacation.

The other day I was at a friends house and some kids were playing and laughing with pure joy.  I was listening and felt like I was eavesdropping.  That's stupid; it's not.  I thought about this poem at that moment.  It's up to me to recognize it and accept it.  It was awesome.  I should feel joy or at least a fraction of what these kids were probably feeling.

Here's that poem

"If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb."

Taher, don't hesitate.

Walk

Forgiveness is something to think about for me.  It registers for me as a conscious thought, but it's harder when there's emotion involved.  I want to remember what Moula teaches us.  Just forgive.   Sometimes it's hard, but it's always for us.

A wise person said there's some evil in the best of us and some good in the worst of us.  All humans have good in common.  Think about that.

Something I've been reading that I want to write down is how bad our phones can be for us.  They distract us from real life around us.  Importantly, it distracts us from the awe around us.

A passage from the book about lack of awe leading to anxiety really caught my attention.  An experiment had people take a screen free walk once a day.  One of the participants wrote, "Experience of beauty made me more generous and present.  Thoughts of the past seemed dull and to worry about the future felt unnecessary."

Taher, put down the phone.  Take a walk and think.