Wednesday, April 26, 2006

just for fun?

I used to be competetive. I had this bloodlust that was just brought out in me in certain activities. And I was good...I had this confidence, this cockiness and it helped me do good in school, it helped me kick peoples' but in wrestling, and once upon a time win in tennis. And then one day a long time ago that competetiveness just disappeared. Now, I usually just play for fun, as gay as that sounds.

Well, twice a year I spend a long time nerdily preparing for exams and I go in to those exams with tons of confidence and even if it doesn't show a certain amount of cockiness...actually a lot of it. Not to be confused with some elitist attitude, I am not smart, but I am prepared and I have studied and I am not modest about that.

For a brief moment I really have that competetive spirit, mostly within, but I can feel it coming back. I can go into pressure situations and handle them with a certain amount of grace. I have that confidence, that was in hiding, back, and I am ready to be a person who gives direction rather than one previously so apt to take it.


ZP said...

as far as the exams are concerned, you know you're smart as well as prepared.

why aren't you competitive anymore? is it a function of being older or being corporate?

sourat said...

I don't know when or why, but somewhere along the way that competetive spirit went away and with that a willingness to accept the status quo set in.

Mohammed said...

You lost that confidence when chinny and I kicked your ass in tennis :)