It took me many years to learn and even longer to accept. After a long time I understood that you can’t be all things to anyone. Sorry I didn’t figure that out sooner Zahra. There are things you can be. Be great at that. Facilitate the things you can’t be. There’s a fair amount of advice in this post; it’s mostly for me.
Taher, excel at the things you can be. Don’t try to be the other stuff.
I usually am not a fan of self-help style lists. I really liked this one. I wanted to put it here and remember it. I edited it a little for brevity, but didn’t change it.
Taher, read this once in a while. It’s a good reminder.
11 habits that will make you happier than 98% of people:
1. Take Care of Your Health
You only get one mind and one body. Both must last you a lifetime. Without it, you have nothing.
2. Give Sincere Appreciation
Practice gratitude daily. It helps you keep things in perspective.
3. Pay it Forward
Studies show random acts of kindness improve well-being.
You can practice paying it forward by:
• Holding the door for someone
• Picking up trash outside
• Giving a compliment
One simple action can alter the trajectory of your day.
4. Choose Optimism
But in the long run, optimists are the ones who live a life they’re proud of.
5. Reduce Your Wants
It is not the man who has too little that is poor.
6. Don't Compare Yourself to Others
Comparison is the thief of joy. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
7. Ignore the Nonessential
There is always a new opportunity or distraction available. But in the long run, it will be those who can stay focused on what’s most important who will be most successful.
8. Constantly Read
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.Books give you access to the:
• Thoughts
• Stories
• Philosophies
of those who came before you.
9. Prioritize Growth
There is no such thing as stagnant. A 1% improvement in a day is a 3,700% improvement in a year.
10. Write Daily
Putting your thoughts on paper forces you to organize them. If you lack understanding, it will expose gaps in your thinking. Use writing to sharpen your thinking and increase your brainspace.
11. Practice Meditation
Take 10 minutes a day to be present and observe your thoughts.
I was able to do a random act of kindness this morning. I came to Panera after a busy morning to get some coffee. I noticed that there were no paper towels in the bathroom. Something the guy washing his hands would find out momentarily. I stepped out to quickly get a stack of napkins to give some to him and leave for the next person. It was small, but it made me feel good. The universe even rewarded me it seems with some free coffee later😁
The opportunity presented itself and doing something kind made me feel good. It turned my busy, not-so-wonderful morning into a nice morning.
Taher, look for the opportunity to do something kind. The opportunities are out there. It makes you feel good.
There’s a nuance to control. There’s nuance to freedom and fate. Freedom and fate can be viewed as contradictory. I don’t think that’s right. They are circular and humans just can’t understand them. We can choose our response.
Viktor Frankl is a holocaust survivor. It’s unimaginable what he went through and dealt with. Despite all that he had seen, he believed there’s a choice.
He said, “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” A reaction is almost instinctual and doesn’t use one of our greatest gifts, thought. Think then respond.
Taher, respond don’t react.
