Listen

Zahra and I were watching a show with an older, wiser person and a younger, more immature person.  The wise person was once like the younger person.  It was obvious to the viewer they were very similar, but it wasn't really apparent to them.  It's easy to think that the younger one should just listen to the "wise" person.  I'm sure it'll all work out.

Real life is not so straightforward.  People are much more complex.  The kids are more complex.  They are shaped by every experience they have and it's tough realizing that I'm not part of or even privy to those experiences a growing portion of the time.  They're getting older and that will keep happening inshallah.  They'll also continue to get more complex.   

Taher, you're not "wise" just because you're older.  Don't ever forget that everyone has something going on.  Remembering that will make you a better listener.  Remember that when talking and listening to Yusuf and Nooriya. 

Maintenance

 Every so often I do "maintenance" with the kids.  It's the umbrella term for any projects and upkeep around the house.  I used to call it "construction", but I had to re-brand😅.  Anytime a filter needs changing, turning the sprinklers off, oiling the garage door, or buying anything that needs assembling I try to  include one or both kids as much as possible.  It's logistically difficult because they don't love it and they each have stuff to do and it would be way easier to just do it myself.  I set out to do it to have their company when they were really little, but over time it has become all about them.  They have a good sense of taking care of their house and the reframing as "maintenance" helps fit these projects in the bigger general taking care and pride in their house/space.   I hope they're learning to be self-reliant, they can fix stuff, and they are capable of learning to solve problems even if it's not their expertise.  My friend recently asked about me about what I do with them and aptly called these life skills.

This week we were mounting a projector in the basement on the ceiling.  It was a "maintenance" project.  I thought it would be easy and simple to do, but it wasn't and it required solving a lot of problems along the way.  It would have been way easier to tell them to "just watch" or to just do it myself.  I chose to include them and I'm glad I did.  

I'm reminded about when Nooriya dubbed me her pancake making helper.  The kids are much older now then they used to be and they have ideas on how to do things.  This was another reminder that someday they won't need me to help.  

Taher: it's tough, but it's worth it.  The kids are getting older; be their helper and sometimes just get out of the way.