Blog

I’ve written several times that this blog is for Zahra and the kids. It is. I’m not sure who else would even read this…

I hardly ever give unsolicited advice.  This post is one those few exceptions. This advice is for them and anyone else that might see this. 

I usually write these posts and end with some advice to myself. I’m probably the only person I feel ok about giving advice to😁. 

I also want Zahra, Yusuf, and Nooriya to read the advice I’m leaving for myself and take what they will. 

I do come back and ready my own posts. It’s been wonderful. I’m realizing that these posts which I meant as a gift for Zahra and the kids has also been a gift for me. Just writing this stuff down has been a boon. Being so able to reread it has been a bonus. 

So my unsolicited advice to Zahra and the kids and anyone else who might come across this is write down your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be a blog and you don’t ever have to share them. Just write them down for you. 

Comback

I’m at BBA and I’m enjoying being a spectator. The highs and lows are so much more extreme for me now than when I competed. 

There’s something that can be understood best in sports, but I realize it’s bigger than sports. It’s just easier to see in sports. It’s about competing and never giving up. 

I’ve seen this happen in games.  It’s so clear in sports. There’s a scoreboard and the games end with a clear winner. 

A couple examples in sports is when the Clippers came back from 35 points down to win in the final seconds. They were essentially out and if there was a mercy rule in the NBA it probably would have applied. 

Another example is the Bears vs Packers multiple times in 2026. Once people went home at halftime because the game seemed hopeless. The Bears beats all odds to win. The other was so electric that Yusuf and his cousin left the car to celebrate in -10 degree night without jackets. 

In 2017, the Patriots had a massive comeback against the Falcons. In the biggest game. They were all but out. 

Last night, a team won with TWO Hail Marys. 

The teams all never gave up. 

It’s not so clear in life. You can’t always see the win. Adab is the equivalent of doing the fundamentals. These comebacks didn’t happen because these teams were lucky. They happened because they each focused on the fundamentals for the next play. 

Taher, don’t ever give up. Focus on the fundamentals.

Garden

The garden keeps on giving 😃

Gardening is a mindset and not simply an activity.  The mindset is about planting seeds.  Investing time/energy/resources/money and seeing the rewards or not seeing them.  

Fruits and blossoms may come at the end of the season.  They may come after a year.  They may come after several years.  The fruits may come again and again and again.  They may come after we're gone.  They will come though.  Invest in good things and the rewards will be that much better.

This is the mindset part.  The mindset is to nurture.  The mindset is simply to care.  The mindset is to treat life as a garden and not transactional.

I was prompted to think about this the other day.  I met a friend and a former colleague for coffee.  He's had a tough go being out of work for a long while.   He's very talented, but he's got some obstacles.  I mostly listened as he talked about what he had going on.

I later connected him with a recruiter at my work which led to an interview.  I'm not sure what that will lead to.  That almost is irrelevant I came to realize later.  It'll lead to something.  It doesn't matter if I'm sure or not.  It doesn't matter if I'm around to see it.  It'll come.  I did get to see him leave our meeting a little happier and more energetic than when he came.  That alone was more than worth the time.

Taher, make the investment.  Taher, be confident that the fruit will come even if you can't see.

Last Day

Very recently I heard someone sharing their story about a sibling with an addiction.  She had lots of emotions.  Anger, resentment, frustration, and worry were just a few.  She acted and behaved from these emotions.  Then her brother died.  She had only one feeling...regret.  She implored the audience not to act the way she did.  She referred to her last interaction with her brother as the last day.

I'm having a last day of sorts.  Nothing so dramatic as what she had.  Today, we take Yusuf to college.  I have lots of emotions.  Happiness and excitement for sure. I'm excited for him.  He's going to have so much fun!  He's going to learn new things and do new things.  This is what we wanted from the day we knew about him.

 But also extreme sadness.  

It's hard.  Things are changing.  Change is hard.  This is the end of something.  There is a next.

When I'm feeling sad, I want to come back and read this.  I want to remind myself of all the great things in store.  Even if I can't see them.  There's so much beauty in the things that come and understanding they will be beautiful.

Taher, the next is great even if you don't feel like it is right now.

Worry

Worry is a natural cognitive process. It isn’t an emotion or a feeling, and it doesn’t belong in the same category as them.

Worry shows up easily and often, but it’s not an emotion or feeling to push down or ignore. In most cases, the amount we worry is proportional to the number of responsibilities, relationships, and moving parts in our lives. And as we get older, those moving parts tend to increase, so worry increases too.

But I don't think worry itself has never changed an outcome. The things we fear will happen often do happen. A child will bump their head. A test won’t go the way we hoped. A tryout won’t pan out. A promotion won’t come. Someone will get sick. Our bodies will decline. Someone we love will pass away. All of this is naseeb. The trying matters, but it is written, destined, part of the plan.

Moula has reminded us again and again: thamakun si. The difficult things will come, but it will still be okay. There is a plan and that plan has no mistakes. We can try to relax. The plan is perfect.

We spend so much time and energy worrying. It’s unrealistic, maybe even impossible, to eliminate worry entirely. Trying to never worry at all is neither practical nor meaningful.

There’s another layer to Moula’s wisdom reminding us to do things thamakun si. When we’re absorbed in worrying about the future — what might happen, what might not — we lose the ability to be present. Worry pulls us out of the moment.

Taher, worrying is human.  You can't avoid it.  Just try to worry less.

Yesterday

This song is a work of art and it’s inspired me before. I even wrote about it before. I wanted to remind myself that today would soon be yesterday. 

I’m on my way home and had the chance to watch the movie built around this song. It’s a good movie and it hit differently this time. 

After waaz and all the nazr we got this past couple weeks, this movie had a different dimension. 

The movie basically is about how a person gets famous writing and singing all the Beatles songs. The whole movie is the journey of him getting all the things he thought he wanted. 

At the end, he has an interaction with Jon Lennon talking about being happy and being happy is the definition of success. The main character finally seems to get it. 

Afterwards, they show a montage of all his happy moments. None of them are the things he previously thought of as success. These are the moments that by and large have no audience. 

Taher, do the things that will make you proud and happy when no one is watching.  That is a key to success. The no one watching is important.

Nazr

I’ve written about this before. This thing I have is very frustrating and very very annoying. I need a bunch more assistance than I used to. I realized there was a hugely positive side to this. I even referred to it as my superpower. 

It stinks and I’d prefer not to have everyone around me to have to deal with it. 

A few years in a row I’ve gotten Moula’s nazr because of it though. It’s all I want. Moula now associates me with this. He even touches my head every time. Because of this thing I even got to go back to Moula TUS for a long time. 

He associates my family with me. I have thought I would gladly bear this so that my family didn’t need to. Now I’m realizing that this thing that I thought sucks and I thought I bear for no reason I get to carry to get my family the biggest reward I could possibly get for them. 

Taher, it might seem terrible for a while, but have faith it’ll be something else.