Hisab

Sabaq was awesome today as expected. I started the day not in the right headspace though. I was lucky to start the day hearing Moula’s kalama. 

He talked about hisab, accounting.  Khuda’s hisab is perfect. There are no mistakes and it’s done immediately. 

Moula gave the example of jaman being wasted. He spoke of the hisab that gets written even if it’s the smallest amount. He gave the example of the small amount a single ant can carry. There’s hisab for that little bit too.

I’m 100% certain I only understand a small fraction of the knowledge and wisdom that Moula shares. 

He was speaking about something broader I believe. He was talking about the importance of small things. Or rather what we perceive incorrectly as small. There are no small things. 

Moula said not to just listen with your ears, but listen with your heart and soul. Let the asar make as much of a mark on you as you can. 

Moula said several ayats about hisab and those naseebdar in the waaz repeated it. Please make me one of those!  I did know one. I’ll always think of this now. 

فَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ خَيْرًۭا يَرَهُ

Do the smallest of the good things.

: وَمَن يَعْمَلْ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ شَرًّا يَرَهُۥ

Avoid the smallest of the bad things. 

We learned from a zahir kitab today. The person who wrote it did khidmat of four imams. He did khidmat day and night. He gained one tenth of one tenth of the imam’s ilm. We learned from his kitab and do dua for yaree, help, to understand one tenth of one tenth of that. 

We can only understand what we perceive as small. Moula proceeded to explain the small good will benefit us now AND later when we need. I made a connection to what I learned in Ashara. 

The smallest acts of good and the small acts of bad magnify over time. We shouldn’t think of them as small. 

Just like fruits, it can take years. They come though. 

Taher, do it. The benefits will come. Have faith that they will come. 

Long game

Time is going to pass. In 30 years, I’ll be 30 years older no matter what. 

Whether I take the route that gets the short-term results or the route that gets the long-term results time will pass. The long-term results are almost always harder to start. They’re harder to see the results in a month or two. However, the long-term results are almost always better too. 

The easy route is easy for a reason. The hard thing IS the good thing. 

Taher, go for the long-term. Make the habit. 

Blog

I’ve written several times that this blog is for Zahra and the kids. It is. I’m not sure who else would even read this…

I hardly ever give unsolicited advice.  This post is one those few exceptions. This advice is for them and anyone else that might see this. 

I usually write these posts and end with some advice to myself. I’m probably the only person I feel ok about giving advice to😁. 

I also want Zahra, Yusuf, and Nooriya to read the advice I’m leaving for myself and take what they will. 

I do come back and ready my own posts. It’s been wonderful. I’m realizing that these posts which I meant as a gift for Zahra and the kids has also been a gift for me. Just writing this stuff down has been a boon. Being so able to reread it has been a bonus. 

So my unsolicited advice to Zahra and the kids and anyone else who might come across this is write down your thoughts. It doesn’t have to be a blog and you don’t ever have to share them. Just write them down for you. 

Comback

I’m at BBA and I’m enjoying being a spectator. The highs and lows are so much more extreme for me now than when I competed. 

There’s something that can be understood best in sports, but I realize it’s bigger than sports. It’s just easier to see in sports. It’s about competing and never giving up. 

I’ve seen this happen in games.  It’s so clear in sports. There’s a scoreboard and the games end with a clear winner. 

A couple examples in sports is when the Clippers came back from 35 points down to win in the final seconds. They were essentially out and if there was a mercy rule in the NBA it probably would have applied. 

Another example is the Bears vs Packers multiple times in 2026. Once people went home at halftime because the game seemed hopeless. The Bears beats all odds to win. The other was so electric that Yusuf and his cousin left the car to celebrate in -10 degree night without jackets. 

In 2017, the Patriots had a massive comeback against the Falcons. In the biggest game. They were all but out. 

Last night, a team won with TWO Hail Marys. 

The teams all never gave up. 

It’s not so clear in life. You can’t always see the win. Adab is the equivalent of doing the fundamentals. These comebacks didn’t happen because these teams were lucky. They happened because they each focused on the fundamentals for the next play. 

Taher, don’t ever give up. Focus on the fundamentals.

Garden

The garden keeps on giving 😃

Gardening is a mindset and not simply an activity.  The mindset is about planting seeds.  Investing time/energy/resources/money and seeing the rewards or not seeing them.  

Fruits and blossoms may come at the end of the season.  They may come after a year.  They may come after several years.  The fruits may come again and again and again.  They may come after we're gone.  They will come though.  Invest in good things and the rewards will be that much better.

This is the mindset part.  The mindset is to nurture.  The mindset is simply to care.  The mindset is to treat life as a garden and not transactional.

I was prompted to think about this the other day.  I met a friend and a former colleague for coffee.  He's had a tough go being out of work for a long while.   He's very talented, but he's got some obstacles.  I mostly listened as he talked about what he had going on.

I later connected him with a recruiter at my work which led to an interview.  I'm not sure what that will lead to.  That almost is irrelevant I came to realize later.  It'll lead to something.  It doesn't matter if I'm sure or not.  It doesn't matter if I'm around to see it.  It'll come.  I did get to see him leave our meeting a little happier and more energetic than when he came.  That alone was more than worth the time.

Taher, make the investment.  Taher, be confident that the fruit will come even if you can't see.

Last Day

Very recently I heard someone sharing their story about a sibling with an addiction.  She had lots of emotions.  Anger, resentment, frustration, and worry were just a few.  She acted and behaved from these emotions.  Then her brother died.  She had only one feeling...regret.  She implored the audience not to act the way she did.  She referred to her last interaction with her brother as the last day.

I'm having a last day of sorts.  Nothing so dramatic as what she had.  Today, we take Yusuf to college.  I have lots of emotions.  Happiness and excitement for sure. I'm excited for him.  He's going to have so much fun!  He's going to learn new things and do new things.  This is what we wanted from the day we knew about him.

 But also extreme sadness.  

It's hard.  Things are changing.  Change is hard.  This is the end of something.  There is a next.

When I'm feeling sad, I want to come back and read this.  I want to remind myself of all the great things in store.  Even if I can't see them.  There's so much beauty in the things that come and understanding they will be beautiful.

Taher, the next is great even if you don't feel like it is right now.

Worry

Worry is a natural cognitive process. It isn’t an emotion or a feeling, and it doesn’t belong in the same category as them.

Worry shows up easily and often, but it’s not an emotion or feeling to push down or ignore. In most cases, the amount we worry is proportional to the number of responsibilities, relationships, and moving parts in our lives. And as we get older, those moving parts tend to increase, so worry increases too.

But I don't think worry itself has never changed an outcome. The things we fear will happen often do happen. A child will bump their head. A test won’t go the way we hoped. A tryout won’t pan out. A promotion won’t come. Someone will get sick. Our bodies will decline. Someone we love will pass away. All of this is naseeb. The trying matters, but it is written, destined, part of the plan.

Moula has reminded us again and again: thamakun si. The difficult things will come, but it will still be okay. There is a plan and that plan has no mistakes. We can try to relax. The plan is perfect.

We spend so much time and energy worrying. It’s unrealistic, maybe even impossible, to eliminate worry entirely. Trying to never worry at all is neither practical nor meaningful.

There’s another layer to Moula’s wisdom reminding us to do things thamakun si. When we’re absorbed in worrying about the future — what might happen, what might not — we lose the ability to be present. Worry pulls us out of the moment.

Taher, worrying is human.  You can't avoid it.  Just try to worry less.