Worry

Worry is a natural cognitive process. It isn’t an emotion or a feeling, and it doesn’t belong in the same category as them.

Worry shows up easily and often, but it’s not an emotion or feeling to push down or ignore. In most cases, the amount we worry is proportional to the number of responsibilities, relationships, and moving parts in our lives. And as we get older, those moving parts tend to increase, so worry increases too.

But I don't think worry itself has never changed an outcome. The things we fear will happen often do happen. A child will bump their head. A test won’t go the way we hoped. A tryout won’t pan out. A promotion won’t come. Someone will get sick. Our bodies will decline. Someone we love will pass away. All of this is naseeb. The trying matters, but it is written, destined, part of the plan.

Moula has reminded us again and again: thamakun si. The difficult things will come, but it will still be okay. There is a plan and that plan has no mistakes. We can try to relax. The plan is perfect.

We spend so much time and energy worrying. It’s unrealistic, maybe even impossible, to eliminate worry entirely. Trying to never worry at all is neither practical nor meaningful.

There’s another layer to Moula’s wisdom reminding us to do things thamakun si. when we’re absorbed in worrying about the future — what might happen, what might not — we lose the ability to be present. Worry pulls us out of the moment.

Taher, worrying is human.  You can't avoid it.  Just try to worry less.

Yesterday

This song is a work of art and it’s inspired me before. I even wrote about it before. I wanted to remind myself that today would soon be yesterday. 

I’m on my way home and had the chance to watch the movie built around this song. It’s a good movie and it hit differently this time. 

After waaz and all the nazr we got this past couple weeks, this movie had a different dimension. 

The movie basically is about how a person gets famous writing and singing all the Beatles songs. The whole movie is the journey of him getting all the things he thought he wanted. 

At the end, he has an interaction with Jon Lennon talking about being happy and being happy is the definition of success. The main character finally seems to get it. 

Afterwards, they show a montage of all his happy moments. None of them are the things he previously thought of as success. These are the moments that by and large have no audience. 

Taher, do the things that will make you proud and happy when no one is watching.  That is a key to success. The no one watching is important.

Nazr

I’ve written about this before. This thing I have is very frustrating and very very annoying. I need a bunch more assistance than I used to. I realized there was a hugely positive side to this. I even referred to it as my superpower. 

It stinks and I’d prefer not to have everyone around me to have to deal with it. 

A few years in a row I’ve gotten Moula’s nazr because of it though. It’s all I want. Moula now associates me with this. He even touches my head every time. Because of this thing I even got to go back to Moula TUS for a long time. 

He associates my family with me. I have thought I would gladly bear this so that my family didn’t need to. Now I’m realizing that this thing that I thought sucks and I thought I bear for no reason I get to carry to get my family the biggest reward I could possibly get for them. 

Taher, it might seem terrible for a while, but have faith it’ll be something else. 

Notebook

The waaz today talked about timing essentially. Yusuf and Nooriya have told me both separately that I could say whatever at a different time. My timing is getting better, but my teenagers will probably never think it’s good😅

The waaz had a riwayat about a dad giving sihkamen to his kid. Naturally, I thought of me. He didn’t give the sikhamen in front of people. Instead he wrote it in a notebook for his kid to read later. His timing was better than mine 😁

Yusuf and Nooriya, I’ve said before that this blog is for you both and Zahra. This blog is my notebook. My timing is better, but it’s not the best. 

Niyyat is most important. Timing is a close second though. The same things I want to remember are the same things I want to tell you. My timing will never be good enough. But that’s the beauty of the “notebook”. It’s perfect timing at some point. 

Taher, have better timing. 

Niyyat

It’s not possible to meet our niyyat often, but there seems to be a lot of good in the trying. The waaz made clear how important niyyat is. 

“

 نِيةُ المُؤمِنِ ابلغُ مِن عَملِه
“A Mumin’s niyyat (intention) is farther reaching than his conduct.”

”

Our intentions give us something to aspire to. We won’t be perfect. We weren’t meant to be. I think that’s it though. When we inevitably aren’t perfect that’s a chance to grow.

Other people’s niyyat is almost never bad. They will at times be annoying. They will at times be irritating. They’ll almost never do it on purpose. 

Taher, smile and remind people of your niyyat. 

Character

I knew the first waaz would be awesome. I learned something that will shift my behavior even before the waaz started. It was repeating behavior for people visiting London. When I first read rules like cross at the cross walk, mind personal space, and let people off the train before you get on, I thought this isn’t for me.

Before the waaz started, some repeated some manners that I was just more ready to internalize. They said if you see someone in need help them. If you see an old person make space. It doesn’t matter if they’re mumin or not. Moula taught you ikhlass or manners. We represent each other. It matters how we behave.

Whoever had the microphone proceeded to say eh logo ne dua kaam lagse. Their dua will benefit us someday and somehow. Moula is also saying behaving well is for us. 

Moula told us in his first bayan to feed the person if they’re wearing fancy clothes or if they’re wearing plain clothes. It doesn’t matter. You never know. There are so many layers to his bayan. One I think is just do the good thing. 

Taher, have the best character you can. It benefits you. 

Decision

I feel good about the decisions I made today. There was a fair amount of FOMO and I really wanted to take advantage of being with all this family today. 

They were all three tough decisions. First was to stay in bed. Getting up early is so natural to me and I knew that breakfast would be so nice. Breakfast with everyone is one of my favorite things about Ashara. Second, was to not go out with everyone in the afternoon. I knew it would be fun. Third was to not go to dinner.  It was already late when it started. 

These each were difficult decisions to make. Put them back-to-back on the same day and it was incredibly difficult. 

The why is so important. Tomorrow is a big day. Waaz starts tomorrow. In each case, it was do the natural and/or fun thing. The consequence is that I would be possibly less attentive in the waaz. Each decision felt like an imtehan. I feel good about how I fared. When framed that way, it was so much easier to make what I know was the right decision for me. 

Taher, frame the situation so that it makes it easier to make the right decision. You often can’t see the reward and it usually comes later.