Choices

I'd heard an interview this week and the guest put something into words that I'd thought about, but never been able to put into words so eloquently.  He described his experience in lockdown as being "trapped with his choices".

Everyone experienced lockdown.  For me and many I imagine, it was like groundhog day.  There was no escape.  There was no 'break'.  COVID was objectively awful for a lot of people.  I wasn't one of them.  I was lucky or whatever the right word is.  I had a lot of time to think just like everyone else.  Among other things, I thought about priorities and why I wasn't miserable.  So many people seemed to be.  I remember writing about liking my roommates a month in.

I liked the choices I had made.  I wasn't deliberate in my choices necessarily, but I was trapped with so many of them.  Those choices stemmed from priorities I decided along time ago and priorities I refined over the years.  The choices weren't conscious, but I frequently looked at my priorities.

The world opened and things went back to some kind of normal.  I guess it was easy to fall into old patterns.  I don't think I did though.  I didn't realize it.  I am on a path.  It's subconscious, but I don't think that experience of being trapped with my choices ever left me.

Taher, make choices you'll be proud of later.  Taher, remember your priorities.

Puddle

Duniya sucks.  That's not new.  Crappy things are bound to happen.

Yusuf and Nooriya are inspiring this post.  They both had less than ideal sports experiences.  Their reactions were great though.  They both reacted in ways that demonstrated a lot of leadership and in different ways.  They set a good example.  I learned something.

This is of course broader than their sport thing.  The responses were both growth to be better and to see the less than ideal as a bump rather than the whole thing.  They were passionate too.

Another way to articulate this is their perspective was a bit broader.  They didn't seem to just observe the particular low as the only thing.  Rather they seemed to see it as part of the journey.

It makes me think of a puddle.  A puddle is often pretty boring, gross, and something to be avoided.  There's often something there.  A reflection or a plant or a tree that will spring from it.  Something better comes.  It's hard to see. It's there.  There's beauty there and everywhere.  And not just on vacation.  I still remember noticing the flowers in the gutter in Bangkok and people just walking by.  It takes practice to see.  It takes eyes that have been developed to see the beauty in a puddle.

Taher, train your eyes to see.

Tomorrow

We were doing some planning and trying to be prepared about something so practical when dad said, “we’ll worry about tomorrow tomorrow”. It wasn’t some big philosophical statement he was making. It was just his attitude. Wisdom is an attitude. It is his earned way of moving through the world. 

Dad happened to be wearing his Wisconsin hat at the time. It’s just a “W”. I realized then it stands for wise when he wears it. It’s not a hat you can buy at the store. It has to be earned. 

I can see and hear so much more clearly when I’m not at home. If more routine stuff had been going on I would have missed this. There’s so much to learn all around. 

Taher, you don’t need to be away from home. Just listen closely and earn it. 

Miracle

It is a choice to see everything as a miracle.  It's not hard to get there.  Think of anything; it's a miracle.  Literally everything is a miracle.

This passage from my math book many years ago that caught my eye I think articulates this thought process well.  I got a "random hug" that day I still remember.  

---
A person walks past a wall with seemingly random holes in the wall and thinks nothing of it.  Another person comes by and draws a target around each hole with each hole as a perfect bulls-eye and then marvels at the wall.
---

It's about randomness and perspective.  The perspective is something we choose.  We can choose awe.  I've recently thought about this choice as a muscle.  The more it gets exercised the stronger it gets.  And in turn the easier it gets to use.

We've heard the shahadat many times.  There is one part I focused on the other day.  Moula sits near the end without worry.  He trusts 100%.  Nothing is random.  This is the ultimate example.  The more that muscle gets exercised the closer we get to thinking nothing is random and trusting 100%.  We get closer every single time we hear it. 

Taher, how much closer is up to you.

Qablas Sawal

We do this dua to break our rozu every day in Ramadan.  It's probably automatic for most and I think we rarely listen.  There is one part I want to hear and think about every time.  In the dua towards the end and when the rozu is almost over we hear "Qablas Sawal".

Literally, this means before asking.

Like all of the stuff Moula does, there's a lot of meaning here.

What's in our naseeb or what's been fated we didn't ask for.  It was just given to us.  We may do stuff that can affect our naseeb, but every person's naseeb is their naseeb.  We didn't ask.   All that happiness, all that circumstance, all that opportunity, all that health, everything.  It was just given to us.  It's foolish to think we earned or deserve any of it.  It's not even because we prayed for it.  Not in a way we can understand anyway.

There's a much bigger conclusion.  We were born into this situation and given this opportunity to be in the right place at the right time.  Without asking.

Taher, remember the bigger picture and think about "Qablas Sawal" every time you hear it.

Composure

There's going to be highs and lows by definition.  It's natural to want to stay in the high and avoid the low.  This seems like a losing strategy though.  Highs will happen and they'll be great.  There'll be anticipation and a rush.  It'll be natural to want to stay there.  There will be lows too.  Perhaps much more later in life.  Life is maybe designed to be that way.  The lows will suck.  It'll be natural to want to avoid them.

Life is going to be a rollercoaster.  No doubt about it.  Rollercoasters have highs and lows too.  They also have these in between moments.  This is where we live most of the time.  A better strategy is probably to try and make these in between moments longer and better.  We have the ability to change our set point.

Another analogy which I want to remember is that of a see saw.  If you do it "right" you'll be in the middle a lot.  Equanimity will keep you there.

The best strategy seems to be focus on the middle and spend less time at the extremes.  As backwards as it sounds, the best thing seems to be feel the high for a short time; don't eliminate it or avoid it😅.  Also, be in the low for a short time; don't try to eliminate it or avoid it either😅. 

Taher, focus on the middle.

Karbala

One of my very recent posts was about Karbala.  I think I'm beginning to understand the limitlessness of this place and its significance.  More likely, I still have no idea 😁

My dad did something related to Karbala, but he probably won't tell anyone.  I want to brag about it though.  I want to remember 😁 because it is cool and inspiring!

Several months ago dad bought some raffle tickets to support a toloba fundraiser.  The grand prize was a ticket to Karbala.  I doubt dad cared about the prize.  A short time after, he won the prize.  Before we could even wish him mubarak, he found someone who hadn't gone and gave it to them.  Wow!  His first impulse was to pay it forward.

Fast forward to this past weekend...the guy who doesn't come very often found dad and thanked him.  He had gone with his family to Karbala with Moula!  Wow!

Taher, donate it!  Taher, give it!