Acceptance

I have written about acceptance before. I didn’t really get it then. I do now. Very likely in some years I’ll wonder why I thought that 😅 It was pre COVID and the world hadn’t changed yet.  An injury then made what I’m dealing with more real and that forced me to think. 

The family had gone to Karbala when the world was just opening up in 2021. It was a big lift financially, with the kids at that age, time off from work, and all the usual excuses. Plus COVID! I did it despite and that gave me a new perspective. 

It has been several years and I feel like just now I am seeing a layer of clarity that was never there before. It’s difficult to see the long-term. Our brains don’t think that way. 

I think the path started long ago. However, I can now point to one thing that seemed to be a point of acceleration for the family and me. Rationally, I knew that trip would be good for the family. I didn’t and probably don’t understand how great it would be. 

Things since then have been fantastic on so many fronts. I’ve come to accept things so much more and I’m quite sure it’s made the whole family happier. I’m certain it’s made me happier.  I can trace back so much to that trip. The asar (impression) is massive. 

This is very specific to this trip, but I think the message is much broader and clear. 

Taher, do the hard and good thing. The rewards may not be apparent for years. 

Slack

This year in Ramadan I want to focus on two things.   

The other day I overslept for fajr. It’s the first time in many years I missed doing fajr on time. There are few things that can ruin my day like missing namaz as is probably right.

Fortunately, I got to see and hear Zahra a short time later and my day wasn’t ruined. If I’m honest, missing fajr would have probably ruined my week if not for Zahra.

I have thought about this for a a few days. Once, I learned in sabaq that we can be forgiven for the SAME mistake 1,000 times a day. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness. Astagfirullah. That’s it. We can mess up 1,000 times a day.  Khuda knew we’d mess up all the time every day. Part of his perfect plan is that we would mess up. 

We are supposed to ask. 

Taher, don’t beat yourself up for making mistakes. You were made to mess up. It’s fundamental. 

Care

Every year in Ramadan I like to focus on something.  It's a great opportunity to think clearly about something every single day for a month.  I love this month.  Not taking advantage of this opportunity is a waste.

This year I want to think about caring every day.  Recently, I stopped caring about work.  It's not that I stopped doing work, just my attitude shifted.  I guess I've put more faith into things happening the way they should and probably worrying less about the details.  It has made work so much better.  I'm happier. I work less and produce higher quality work.  I'm less busy though.

I've put my energy into caring more about the things I rationally know to be worth caring about.  This reallocation of my energy has been amazing.  I want to think about this every day in Ramadan and solidify this thinking.

Taher, everything will happen as it should.  Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.  Try to have the wisdom to know the difference.  There's not much you can change.

Socks

I have this picture from early 2021 as my screensaver.  I don't think I'm ever going to change it.  Mom is in it🩷  It's a great picture and a professional portrait.  I love this picture.  Everyone is smiling and looking at the camera. I remember being very happy this February night.  It was frigid outside and we were nice and warm and together inside.

Everyone is matching in blue thanks to Zahra.  Even the buttons Yusuf and I are wearing coordinate.  All Zahra 👍💓  Every detail was considered.

Seeing Mom and Dad make me happy every time.  They are smiling genuine smiles.  Dad wore what he was told down to the coordinating mahki on his kurta saya.  His socks don't match though.  In his defense, no one told him to have matching socks😁.

This reminds me to focus on what's important.  He is genuinely happy to be there.  It shows and his socks don't matter.

I see this picture almost every day.  I can't not see the socks and I have to think about what's important.

Kintsugi

This is beautiful and deep. When something isn’t right we often have the instinct to excise or eliminate or do away with the broken and bad. Kintsugi is the art of repairing broken pottery. Art is very deliberately used it seems. 

The broken and the bad is what makes it beautiful. This is what makes it deep. The pottery gets more valuable. It’s like wisdom. It’s earned. 

It’s part of a larger and really cool philosophy.  I’m just scratching the surface. It’s called wabi sabi. It’s about finding beauty in the impermanent and the imperfect. So simple, yet so difficult and wise. 

There’s so much here to think about and take away.  The bad stuff leads to good stuff eventually. The difficult and beautiful part is accepting it. 

Taher, bad shit is going to happen. Not only bad stuff, but also not ideal stuff. Think astagfirullah and think of Kintsugi. Bad stuff will eventually lead to good stuff. 

Compound

This scene is amazing. It’s about building a bridge. I have a thing for bridges. I think this scene is a metaphor though. The bridge thing is a bit on the nose. 

https://youtu.be/m8Mc-38C88g?si=loZqCP-eFi-KAEJk

The scene is about all the benefit this one little bridge has been to so many people. There’s some cool math that’s a part of the reasoning. 

As the scene ends, the character summarizes the benefit, 1,531 years. He says it again 1,531 years saved. The impact was huge. I think that’s the deeper meaning. 

Taher, the act can be small, but the impact compounds and can be huge. 

Fewer Questions

Lyrics have inspired so many of my thoughts and blogs. The authors take my mind to new places. It’s like reading is for so many, it takes me away. 

Usually, I find the lyrics to be wise. Usually, they are a reminder of this or that each time I listen to the song. The songs are more meaningful. Usually, the singers are alluding to something that inspires me or singing about something I want to emulate. 

Two songs are stuck in my head. They’re not usual though. In fact, they just seem to have gotten it wrong. The songs are good, but listening to them from now on will be a reminder of what not to do. 

“ You, you're walking away

I've been there now, I know what to say
I'm the king of yesterday

A silly little love song for myself
It's all I ever do, you know, I shine the shell
A pretty little picture, the face of you“

And

“ And there were so many fewer questions

When stars were still just the holes to heaven“

These songs are about the past and how good it was and they didn’t realize it then. They’re stuck in the past. They’re so wrong. Whether it’s meant to be the lesson or not, the takeaway is it is so good NOW and you don’t realize it. 

Taher, don’t very wish for things to be simpler and have “fewer questions “.