I got so angry today. More angry than I can remember being. It has been awful feeling like this.
I confronted the two jerks that set me off. I lost it. I was so angry that I was shaking. I literally could not control my body. I was aggressive though I didn't yell or scream. The whole thing lasted maybe 10 minutes and afterwards I wished I had been more aggressive and meaner. It's been hours, but I'm angry as I write this and it's still easy for me to see that my previous sentence is just ugly. Meaner?!
I'm not proud of my behaviour today. I'm not proud of my inability to calm down right now.
This is the part I want to remind myself should I ever feel this way again.
I have tried to calm down though; I've tried to focus on the positive. It's been hard to focus, but it's important for it to be hard sometimes. There's as much to be thankful for as when it is easy to focus, alhamdolillah. Remember what Zahra tells the kids, if someone is mean that's their problem.
Also remember Taher, stuff happens and being angry sucks.
I confronted the two jerks that set me off. I lost it. I was so angry that I was shaking. I literally could not control my body. I was aggressive though I didn't yell or scream. The whole thing lasted maybe 10 minutes and afterwards I wished I had been more aggressive and meaner. It's been hours, but I'm angry as I write this and it's still easy for me to see that my previous sentence is just ugly. Meaner?!
I'm not proud of my behaviour today. I'm not proud of my inability to calm down right now.
This is the part I want to remind myself should I ever feel this way again.
I have tried to calm down though; I've tried to focus on the positive. It's been hard to focus, but it's important for it to be hard sometimes. There's as much to be thankful for as when it is easy to focus, alhamdolillah. Remember what Zahra tells the kids, if someone is mean that's their problem.
Also remember Taher, stuff happens and being angry sucks.
I am thankful that we are so unused to terrible people that when we encounter them, we don't know what to do. You are not a mean person. you are a truly kind person- and the way you responded yesterday tells me all I need to know. you are on my side and that's all that matters.
ReplyDeleteI love you! let's go on with our lives now :))