Ashura #4

Ashura was yesterday and I'm thoroughly exhausted. It's a good exhausted accompanied by a sense of accomplishment.

#4 because it's Yusuf's fourth ashura. I can remember his first way back when we measured his age in weeks. Now I measure my life by how many ashuras I've had Yusuf with me.

Four years ago we brought this tiny baby to the masjid to show him off. I was so proud to have him. This year I am SO PROUD of him. It was a long, long day for me and probably many more times for him. This year he didn't play; I didn't entertain him. This year he did fakoh the whole day. He did matam the whole day. He said "ya Hussein!" the whole day. And we got to watch two moulas doing vaas together!

I can remember being exhausted that first year too being a brand new parent, a different kind of exhausted, but still exhausted and still comparable. I spent much of ashura this year trying to make Yusuf as much a part of it as I could. I was exhausted then, this year and hopefully many years to come being a parent to Yusuf on ashura.

This year more than others, the bayaans about seizing opportunities and not letting time pass waiting for the 'right' moment resonated so much with me as Yusuf was there with me making me proud.

Taher, spend your time wisely.