just for fun?

I used to be competetive. I had this bloodlust that was just brought out in me in certain activities. And I was good...I had this confidence, this cockiness and it helped me do good in school, it helped me kick peoples' but in wrestling, and once upon a time win in tennis. And then one day a long time ago that competetiveness just disappeared. Now, I usually just play for fun, as soft as that sounds. Well, twice a year I spend a long time nerdily preparing for exams and I go in to those exams with tons of confidence and even if it doesn't show a certain amount of cockiness...actually a lot of it. Not to be confused with some elitist attitude, I am not smart, but I am prepared and I have studied and I am not modest about that. For a brief moment I really have that competetive spirit, mostly within, but I can feel it coming back. I can go into pressure situations and handle them with a certain amount of grace. I have that confidence, that was in hiding, back, and I am ready to be a person who gives direction rather than one previously so apt to take it.